Hello. My name is Cassie, and I’m a writer by trade and by nature. If you have any writing that needs doing, there is some details about what I do in the first menu as well as contact information This blog is a collection of a lot of different topics, but mostly it’s just my thoughts on (electronic) paper. I am a gamer, I have depression and I am a New Zealander
living in America. Currently I’m working on updating my old posts so clicking on categories or tags actually works properly, because it doesn’t do what it should right now. Anyway, please enjoy yourself.
Blogging
I confess that being a guest blogger on someone else’s blog has made me a little slack about working on my own. After all, when I have to write a blog post three times a week anyway, I’m not very interested in another three or four for my own purposes. I’m not too happy with the fact that it has been more than a week since I last posted, or that the last post I did was instructions for an online game.
Clothing Guide (Runes of Magic)
This is a tutorial mostly made for my guild, but it’s probably useful for anyone who plays Runes of Magic (RoM) in general. I want to talk about the appearance of your character, particularly the clothing you wear, and how to change this. In particular, there are two key ways, the Magic Wardrobe and aggregating. These are slightly different and have different purposes. You won’t end up using aggregating very often, so I’ll show you the Magic Wardrobe first.
Photography
Photography is something that has always seemed pretty cool to me, and I had a fleeting passion with taking ‘artistic’ photos. I loved my digital camera when I got one, which was a present from my family, and I have made sure to always have one. My mother never particularly liked my photos, because they didn’t have people in them.
I never went particularly far with photography, but my brother is a different story. I don’t remember when exactly he got focused on photography, but he did. He helped me in my field research for my thesis, by taking photos of what I was doing. I used to find it amusing how long he would spend taking photos, but now I am well and truly impressed with his work. The photo on the left is one that he took from my field work, and yes, those are my hands. I was hand-pollinating flowers and looking at home many of those ended up producing fruit.
The photo below is what inspired tonight’s post, and it is a photo of the North-West Arch over Christchurch, taken from the Port Hills. So, not only is it a beautiful photograph, it is also a photo of my home city. Continue reading
Coffee
I’m excited really. For about a year now I have been making my living from writing, primarily academic. So that means essays, assignments, online courses and every so often exams. My clients come to me through Craigslist, word of mouth and a friend back in New Zealand.
Boston ‘Terrorist’ Attack
First let me say that what happened in Boston was terrible and I hope they find the people that did it. But, that isn’t what I want to talk about. I don’t watch the news, so I heard of the attack through others and it was always explained the same way ‘a terrorist attack in Boston’. My first thought is that it is kind of an odd choice for a terrorist attack. After all, explosions at a marathon doesn’t really have the same severity as the Twin Towers and is significantly less terror inducing to begin with.
So, what exactly makes this a terrorist attack? Well, according to the American government
“Any event with multiple explosive devices – as this appears to be – is clearly an act of terror.”
Well, yes… and no. It’s scary, sure, and terrifying to the people that are involved, but that doesn’t make it a terrorist attack.
In reality, terrorism has been difficult to define for one main reason, the tactics of terrorism and freedom fighting are essentially the same. Well, they are actually the same. Whether we call someone a ‘terrorist’ or a ‘freedom fighter’ just depends what side of the fence we sit on. When the United States supported Bin Laden he was a freedom fighter, but following the September 11 attacks he was considered a terrorist. The thing is (if you assume he was involved in September 11, which there is some contention about, but that isn’t relevant to this discussion), his tactics didn’t change.
So, there is no official definition of terrorism. The FBI uses the definition:
There are other definitions, but this one will do for this discussion, particularly as it comes from within the United States itself.
The thing is, currently no one knows who caused the bombing at Boston, why it happened or really anything about it. That means there simply isn’t enough information to determine whether the event fits into the above definition, or really any ‘official’ definition that is used in the United States.
So, why use the word? Probably because its big, scary and makes people angry.
… but it isn’t the right word.
Hello Again
Depression is funny. It’s funny because it can be the end of the world one day, and there is nothing wrong the next. I think my family got tired of that and probably most of my friends too (not all, thanks to the ones who did get in touch). I guess that comes from not really understanding what it is all about.
I think people assume that because it blows over, those dark days don’t matter as much. Because I might have twenty or thirty of those days a year, they are something that can be easily brushed aside.
The KBO posts are an example of a dark day, a day where the world is crushing me and I am almost screaming. The thing is, and it is important to understand, that those days are days where I, or many many people like me need help. For me there were three people who lifted me up and comforted me, and two of them were people that I only know on line. Those posts automatically publicized to my Facebook, but of all my ‘friends’ on there, no one commented.
If you are reading this and know someone with depression do me one favour. Stay by them on the bad days. Even if they seem melodramatic, even if what is hurting them seems stupid. Because it isn’t to them, and they really need the helping hand.
KBO Part 2
In the beginning there was darkness,
And after the darkness night,
The night and the day,
The dark and the light,
The coldness of the moment,
The hollowness of time.
Standing on the steps,
Looking out at the sky,
Who am I to this world?
To the people in my life?
Am I a stranger and a misfit?
Or a beloved close friend?
I cannot think of a number to call,
Or a person to ask to come around,
I cannot think of someone to give comfort,
Or someone with the time to listen,
Everyone is busy, locked in their worlds,
And I must endure, as is the way.
If the world would swallow me,
I would be glad.
If I could sleep in darkness,
I would be glad,
If I could bleed the pain away,
I would be glad.
But I cannot, I cannot and I should not,
So here I stand and cry,
It will pass, it must pass,
But I wonder, I wonder,
What happens on the day that I cannot wait,
When the pain is too much to wait the time
